Knowing When Your Child Is Ready for Therapy
It is fair to say that the last few years have been…a lot…for just about everyone. Kids, adolescents, and adults have all felt the strain with symptoms of burnout, stress, anxiety, and depression on the rise.
Spurred by this crisis, mental health has become a national conversation and caregivers and youth are becoming more familiar with therapy. Many who were once hesitant are becoming increasingly open to the idea of having a licensed mental health professional as part of the family team.
When Is My Child Ready for Therapy?
One of the most common questions youth-focused therapists get is: How will I know my kid is ready for therapy?
The honest answer? You won’t!
There are definitely signs that suggest bringing a therapist on board would be beneficial, such as:
– Notable and/or sustained changes in functioning
social changes or withdrawal, academic difficulties, lowered or limited interest in doing things they used to enjoy; significant shifts in eating, sleeping, or activity habits; decreased hygiene, like showers, deodorant, teeth brushing, etc
-Notable and/or sustained changes in mood
more sad, more irritable, more anxious, more impulsive, less motivated, less talkative, less outgoing
– Notable and/or sustained changes in appearance
dark circles around the eyes, clothes that offer significantly more or less physical coverage than has generally been typical for your kid, significant weight change, unexplained or unusual marks or scratches
-Notable and/or sustained changes in family or social dynamics
more arguments or disagreements, decrease in quality/amount of time spent together, decrease or change in communication
-Significant life-change or transition
moving to a new house/school/city/state/country, divorce, parent or caregiver re-marriage, adoption, illness, grief and loss, traumatic incident
These signs are fairly reliable indicators that something is going on with your child’s emotional or mental wellbeing, but even signs aren’t certainties. Kids are resilient and their ability to navigate and adapt is remarkable. While some of these signs are more significant and disruptive than others, it is impossible to predict how an individual will move through them.
But believe it or not, the uncertainty isn’t a bad thing. It’s true that a child therapist may be brought on board when things are seriously difficult, but finding and connecting to a therapist before those crisis points can be a powerful preventative measure.
Reaching out for support before a crisis moment gives the family system to develop skills, build a rapport with a therapist, and get comfortable communicating about difficult topics before stuff hits the fan.
The Right Age for Child Therapy
Knowing when your kid is truly “ready” to do the work of therapy can be a challenge and really depends on the age. Here are some indicators to start looking for a child therapist:
Some of the signs mentioned above are present and have started to affect your child’s functioning or the functioning of the family unit.
In this case, “readiness” means that your kid’s (or family’s) actions and/or functioning is communicating a need for support, even if they can’t put that need into words.
Your child is noticing patterns or feelings they’d like to better understand and maybe change.
Your child asks for someone to talk to (it happens, believe it or not!).
Keep in mind that readiness for therapy looks different for everyone. Some kids jump in with two feet and participate fully with a child therapist from the start. Others are more cautious, quiet, deliberate, or slow to warm up. For some, it’s a huge deal just to walk through the door. As youth-centered therapists, our goal is to meet your child where they are, and to celebrate progress and growth wherever we find it.
The Stigma of Child-Centered Therapy
One of the biggest hurdles to getting kids to participate in therapy is the stigma that therapy is a punishment or a last resort for people who can’t handle their own problems. Families sometimes come to therapy in response to troubling behavior or a really challenging situation. There is often an unspoken stigma around the topic of therapy that a child will intuitively pick up on. One way to overcome this hurdle is with positive communication.
Moving past stigma in therapy is possible, but it saves so much time when families take time to talk about therapy as a tool for everyone and not just those in crisis. Therapy can benefit all members of the family who want to improve their mental wellness.
If you think your child is ready for therapy or therapy might be helpful for your child or your family: reach out.
Therapy often comes down to connection. So don’t be afraid to reach out to multiple therapists in your local area. Set up an introduction call to see if they might be a good fit. Schedule a session or two to establish a connection and remember that it’s okay to keep looking until you find the right fit for your family.
When all the signs start to line up, the conversation with your child doesn’t have to be: “You’re going to see a therapist!”
It becomes: “Let’s go talk to Ethan.”