Hi! I wanted to start by saying that I’m really excited to meet you.

Starting therapy—especially if you’ve never done it before—can be weird (that’s a technical therapy term, by the way.) I thought that if I shared a little more about the way I think and why I love this job, it might help make things more comfortable right from the jump. So here goes:

You might be wondering: “Why would a person sit and listen to other people talk about their hopes and challenges all day, every day? Doesn’t this person have better things to do? Is this person aware of Netflix and, if so, why is this person not watching Netflix right now?” These are all great questions. The answers are: Yes, I know about Netflix and it’s great, but I love what I do. I really find that talking to people like you and working together to find ways to make your life better is both really meaningful and deeply rewarding to me.

I bet that you’re probably used to being in situations with adults or professionals where it feels like you are expected to listen while they talk—or to trick them into thinking you agree with them when you don’t agree or don’t care—or to get out of there as fast as you can. It’s not just you: that’s how a lot of people feel when talking to people who are in positions of authority. This is not that. My first job will always be to listen to you. Where we go from there and what ways we come up with to help you get closer to your personal goals will be decisions we make together. Your problems, your challenges, are as important to me as they are to you and the changes we work toward together have to be ones you are motivated to make.

Therapy is all about change, but I don’t want you to think it’s the therapist who makes the change happen. I’m not a magician, so I can’t wave a wand and change things; my goal isn’t to make you different than you are—ever. Who you are is exactly who you need to be and my goals don’t really matter here. That’s why I want you to know, before we even get started, that when we talk you will consistently be the most important person in the conversation. My job is to help you. But when I say “you” remember that I’m a social worker and we think about systems, so “you” means helping to make your whole system (family, home, school, friends) find more success in relation to each other.

Since I don’t know you yet, I can’t say why you’re here. Maybe it’s about something you’re experiencing on the inside: you worry a lot or are intensely stressed out or feel really low or numb or angry or lost. Maybe it’s more on the outside: arguments with friends and family or having a hard time in school or having a tough time slowing down or feeling comfortable in your own skin. Whatever it is, my role is to create and protect a place where your feelings (1) are real, (2) matter, and (3) can change for the better.

There are some pretty common judgments and biases about therapy. You may have read or seen stuff that makes therapy look like a joke-like the sort of thing people do when they either don’t have “real” problems or they’re too weak to handle stuff on their own. The truth is pretty much the opposite. Problems are real problems if they’re real problems to you. As for weakness: recognizing something we want to change in our lives, to open up about it to a therapist, and to take steps to make it a reality is one of the most difficult things a person can do. People in therapy are some of the strongest people you’ll ever meet. Now that includes you.

I may be an expert in different ways of helping, but you are the expert and authority in your life. So: You talk. I listen. We work together.

If therapy isn’t something you ever saw yourself trying, or maybe you’ve wanted to try it, but haven’t been able to give it a real chance, or even if your “system” decided for you that it was time to get support - no matter how you got here, I’m so glad that you are. I’m excited to meet you and am honored to be in your corner.

Sincerely,

Ethan